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Why I Hate Walmart.

7

I’m going to warn you beforehand.   This post is going to be a rant.  I’m going to groan and moan and complain.  So there…you’ve been warned.  How many times have you been inside a Walmart?  Ten…Twenty..Fifty….Over One Hundred?  I can’t even count.  I started my working life after college in a Walmart so I spent nearly a year working there every day.

My job at Walmart was in Loss Prevention, which means I dressed like a customer and walked around the store pretending to shop while I looked for shoplifters.  There were other parts to my job such as internal theft and maintaining the security cameras…but catching shoplifters was the main job.  It was horrible.  I was paid a whopping $8/hour (with a college degree) and had to actually face people with knives over $5 hats.  So that begins my hate affair with Walmart.  Here are some reasons I detest going there now.

1.  Two Registers Open?

Ok, so it’s 7pm on a weeknight there are hundreds of people shopping in the store and many of them are ready to check out RIGHT NOW.  But wait, there’s only two lines open.  What you end up with is a massive line which bends and curves like a snake through the front checkout area and it is filled with a LOT of very angry people.    But wait, you say “They have self checkout lanes”.  Why yes, you are correct my good lad.  But all EIGHT of those lanes are out of order.  It’s like they are dangling the candy in front of your face and then they SNATCH it out as you reach for it.

Walmart…you KNOW that you will be busy during certain hours most days.  Why not provide adequate staffing during those hours?  Or better yet, have your mid level managers actually man a register and help out instead of shooting the breeze while my calves cramp up from standing in line.  At least offer snacks to those in line.

2.  I Need Assistance In Housewares

Have you ever actually tried to get someone to help you in a Walmart?  It’s like they are playing hide and seek with the customers.  Or maybe they are ninjas.  I think I see one of them and then POOF they’re gone.  And when you actually do get someone to help you they usually have NO IDEA what they’re talking about.  Now, this is a generality.  There are many Walmart employees (usually department managers) who have a lot of knowledge about their department.    You just have to know when you go in Walmart that you have to be self reliant.

3. GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!

This is a pet peeve of mine.  Here’s the thing…the aisle is roughly 6 feet wide.  Your buggy is roughly 3 feet wide….and you standing there with your friend talking about how your daughter’s boyfriend just got bailed out takes up 3 feet.  That means there’s no room for me to pass.  Here’s a novel concept…you want to chat??? Then take your toothless behind down an empty aisle and talk there…not in the main aisle in the store.

4.  Put On Some Clothes

There are entire websites dedicated to photos of people at Walmart.  I honestly do now know what people are thinking.  I can imagine the thought process:  ”Well, I’m 5′ 3″ tall and I weigh 345 lbs…I’m sure I can fit into these size 6 skinny jeans.”  And just to be safe they throw on a pair of bedazzled red thongs that you can see when they bend over.  Walmart needs to have a dress code and hire someone to enforce it.  They could stand at the door and sound an alarm whenever that woman in a tube top approaches.

So there you have it.  That’s why I detest Walmart.  Leave a comment below and tell me if I missed any or if I’m way off base and Walmart is great.

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About Author

Ben is a follower of Christ, a rabid computer geek, small business owner, and breaker of things. He is married way above his station in life and has three wonderful children who have made driving him insane their mission in life.

7 Comments

  1. Hilarious Rant. Walmart is the Entity we love to hate. From unfair treatment of employees, bullying their suppliers and then I’m forced to shop there because frankly I can’t afford to shop anywhere else.

    • That’s the thing – the other companies act a bit more ethically (ie Target) and then the prices are slightly higher. I don’t go to Walmart (my goal is under $50/year) because they are unethical and inhumane in some respects.

  2. I grew up in the South (oklahoma to be exact) and there wasn’t much to pick from where I lived. Wal Mart was the main grocery store and the go-to-for-everything. I also lived in a college town so no matter what time of day you went there were always folks running around drunk, half-naked, and never enough lines open to accommodate them all! Chrystal @ YUMeating.com

  3. I totally agree! I try to stay away from walmart as much as I can. My number one pet peeve is that they only have one or two checkouts open and it’s so long of a wait especially when you have kids with you.

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